Category Archives: Blog

Labor Day

You can find out more about Todd, Debbie, his eight children, their RV, and ministry at www.familymanweb.com

The following is a continuation of the end-of-summer account I wrote a long time ago… Enjoy this last little bit of summer fun… together.

Over the years Adventureland aged along with those who challenged it. The gorilla leaned to one side, and a cage was added that kept it from toppling over and squashing some young towheaded golfer. The once proud tiger was demoted to a token spot where he kept an eye on the giggling kids and their parents. One by one the doors quit moving, the water traps were drained, and the sand traps that held pristine white sand now looked more like dirty ashtrays filled with leaves and candy wrappers. But even in her decline and evident wear, she was still the queen of miniature golf parks.

That brings us to last night. With Taco Bell heavy on our breath, we pulled into the parking lot and were shocked to find our van the sole occupant. A cold, northern wind that smelled of autumn filled the air, and we decided to forgo the bug spray. Walking up the broken sidewalk, we passed a graveyard of old rusted rides that once terrorized young riders who grew up to have children of their own.

From somewhere, I thought I heard “Taps” being played. I guess someone saw us approach the main ticket building, because halfway there, the power flipped on, granting life to the arcade games and an ancient Skee Ball game that my cousin lost a small fortune playing. The once shiny temple of amusements felt old, and dirty, but good.

The fluorescent lights flickered in the empty building. It was like going home to find that your house was condemned and vacant. Sadly, I led my family back to the miniature golf counter and purchased two tickets for our oldest boys.

The kids chose their clubs and colored golf balls (they were too young to know the real advantage of having a red ball over a green ball), and then we stepped out onto the course. The sun had dropped below the tree line, and the red and green lights cast a faint glow over the course. There was still some magic in the old girl, and I was transported back twenty years. I half expected to hear one of my brothers run up from behind and cry out, “I wanted the red ball.” But instead, giggles of excitement bubbled up from the boys as they ran to the first hole.

Over the next hour we made our way up, over, and around all 18 holes, my boys exclaiming and explaining each hole to us as though I wasn’t already intimately acquainted with each. They pointed to the tall gorilla that was missing most of its hands and once snarling teeth as it rested against the building near hole two. They oohed at the carousel that rotated as their ball crossed its floor. They peeked in the paddle boat’s paint chipped door and stepped through the dry water traps that I splashed in when I was their age.

I relived each hole they played, remembering the times and the people of long ago. But as they played, my attention left the putting greens and old memories. Something else had captured my attention. It was two small boys running from hole to hole, their faces beaming, and a little girl who rested her head on the shoulder of the woman I love. And it was then that I felt it… that feeling of warmth that is kindled when you realize that you’re in a special place with the people you love the most. Mom and Dad, you need to have a place like that. A place to revisit from time to time with the people you just can’t live without.

Go have an adventure,

Todd

 

PS – You can find this story and others like it in my easy to read book, “The Bathroom Book of Fathering.”

“The Familyman”

#stayingmarried

The Familyman – Website

The Familyman Show – Weekly Todcast

The Familyman Weekly – Weekly email for dads

www.familymanweb.com

574-658-3247

Exercising the Art of Persuasion in Your Teaching

Susan B. Ison is president and founder of the
Victus Study Skills System.
In addition to her God, her family and friends, she enjoys painting and writing (www.godsmiracleofsebastian.com). She is blessed with a wonderful husband, 6 children, and 9 grandchildren.

Persuasion is an art that, when mastered, will empower your students to connect with what you are teaching in ways you may never have dreamed possible. Aristotle, the master of this art, said that persuasion involves ethos, pathos, and logos. Ethos is the credibility of the speaker, pathos is the emotional element, and last but certainly not least, logos is the logical component. In this third article about exercising the art of persuasion in your teaching, we will focus on logos.

Not surprisingly, a recent Harvard research study showed that students are much more apt to be engaged in learning if they see that it has value in their own lives. They need to see the logic in it. When one of our now PhD sons was young, he had such a hard time understanding why he had to repeatedly do homework on something he already understood. He needed to understand the logic for all of his homework. (By the way, researchers debate this issue, too!)

In my previous two articles, I told you about my experience as a student of W. Edwards Deming, the brilliant statistician and consultant. Ethos was displayed in his knowledge and his reputation; pathos was employed in his Red Bead Experiment.

In teaching, we may at times show emotion, and at other times we may need to throw in a little credibility so we are believed. Yet, I believe the one constant needs to be logic.

If Deming had conducted the Red Bead Experiment and had not shown us the statistical facts to accompany it, the experiment might have simply been an interesting episode to watch.

However, it changed how we thought because he played on our logic. We could see the truth in his assertion that results come from the process because he provided statistical information as support for this idea.

When our kids ask us why, or when we see puzzled or frustrating looks on their faces, we can almost be sure that something in the area of logic is not clicking. Of course, sometimes our job is to explain the logic or sometimes the illogic of what is happening.

I sometimes sense from my grandchildren what is fair and what is not. I remember this issue with my own children and even my siblings and me. “That’s not fair!” they say. We said it, too. This might be the time to teach them not to compare because there are always those with less and those with more. Sometimes our job is to use our logic to change the way they think (their logic), as Deming did with us.

Another consultant I worked with said, “Business is a series of human relationships, and the quality of the business is directly proportional to the quality of the relationships.”

This principle also applies in teaching. In the hundreds, if not thousands, of students I have had the privilege of teaching, the relationship is the key. The quality of our teaching is directly proportional to the quality of the relationship with our student, our child, our grandchild.

And our relationships are incredibly dependent on how we use our own ethos (credibility), pathos (emotion), and the one that tips the scales, our own logos (logic)! Our success as teachers depends on this foundation. Success starts with the basics!

How might you activate these three components of persuasion in your teaching in order to inspire and empower your students?

Persuasion is Foundational to Teaching

Susan B. Ison is president and founder of the
Victus Study Skills System.
In addition to her God, her family and friends, she enjoys painting and writing (www.godsmiracleofsebastian.com). She is blessed with a wonderful husband, 6 children, and 9 grandchildren.

In my 50-plus years of teaching and consulting, I’ve learned that the art of persuasion and teaching are not mutually exclusive. Instead, persuasion is foundational to teaching. Whether I have a classroom of students or just one student, if I have not somehow used the art of persuasion, I have not succeeded.

Aristotle made it clear that one of the three components necessary to of the art of persuasion is pathos, or emotion. Pathos was not to stand alone, but to be accompanied by credibility, which I covered in my previous article, and logos, or logic.

Our eldest son has told me he believes emotions are overrated, and I have to admit I often agree. My Dad always taught us to think before we acted. I don’t recall him ever telling me to feel before acting!

It seems our culture is now leaning more toward how we feel than what we think. “How do you feel about that?” is a question we often hear. It’s not a bad question—unless it’s the only one.

We see the consequences of reacting on emotion without thinking almost any time we read or hear the news. Some of the most horrendous leaders have incited others to terrible acts by influencing their emotions. Emotion can be a double-edged, dangerous sword, or it can be a useful, much-needed tool. Let’s see how it can be used for good in teaching.

In my last article I told you about the world-renowned statistician and consultant W. Edwards Deming, one of my most influential teachers. In the seminar I attended where he taught, he used emotion to persuade in the most unique ways.

One of the main points he wanted us to understand was that when workers fail, it is normally the result of faulty processes that are in place, and that sound processes are the responsibility of management. However, instead of talking about that point, he conducted his famous on-stage “Red Bead Experiment” which you can read about in detail online, and I will briefly summarize.

He first asked for a few volunteers from the audience who would be “willing workers.” Their job was to use the paddle he gave them to get only the white beads from a box containing a mixture of white beads and red beads. The volunteers came to the stage. He explained the job and the rewards and punishments which would be given.

The workers tried really hard, but the job was impossible to perform. Even when they were punished by a cut in pay or threatened with being fired, the frustrated workers could not produce only white beads by dipping a paddle into this mixture of beads. There were always those “defective” red beads.

As we sat in the audience, we were frustrated for these volunteers too. We knew this ludicrous process only disheartened the workers, and our emotions were full of empathy for them.

Then the mood slowly changed to one of understanding, as Deming helped us see that the workers tried to do a good job even when they knew they could not succeed, and that they were powerless to change this broken process.

The Red Bead Experiment goes into more depth than what I’ve described here. Deming’s statistical expertise and the need to draw accurate conclusions from data was displayed throughout. He concluded that as much as 98% of performance is governed by the system or processes that are in place, and that management is responsible for those processes. The results come from the process and the process is the responsibility of management.

As we reflect on Deming’s approach, we see a teacher who not only engaged the emotion of the audience, but also continued to exude his passion for what he taught at 91 years of age!

Let’s look for creative ways to engage our students and their emotions, while seeking a continual stream of passion in our own teaching. We have the awesome responsibility of helping to shape the minds of our younger generation. We must remember that we as parents and teachers are the hand that rocks the cradle, and therefore, rules the world.

Adventureland

You can find out more about Todd, Debbie, his eight children, their RV, and ministry at www.familymanweb.com

The following is an end-of-summer account I wrote a long time ago… but I still like it. I hope you will as well and that it will kindle an idea and that you’ll enjoy that last little bit of summer fun… together.

Adventureland

A couple weeks ago something special happened. I enjoyed the past and the present at the same time. I’m not sure which felt warmer, the distant memory or the joy of the present. But whatever the mix, it was a great night. It was Labor Day – the day farthest from the beginning of summer. It heralds the first of fall and the beginning of school, while thumbing its nose at those who love warm weather. We spent the day over at the lake with most of my family. It was gray, cold, and windy… pretty standard lake weather.

Mostly we stayed inside, which kind of gets crazy with a bunch of kids running underfoot. So, after about as much total mayhem as we could stand, everyone loaded up their cars and headed in different directions to return to their busy lives and life after Labor Day. We had it easy. We drove ten miles home and plopped the kids in their beds for naps. While they slept, my wife and I sat on the couch discussing ideas for our last night of summer fun. We figured most everything would be closed and resolved ourselves to an uneventful night at home. It was at that moment, when all seemed bleakest, that an idea came to mind, and the brilliant idea poured forth from my mouth, “How ‘bout Adventureland?”

It sounded like a winner to two people desperate to extend the summer. I jumped up, grabbed the phone, and called to see if they were open. On the other end of the line, a lady said, in some accent I didn’t recognize, “We open to ten o’clock.” Energized by the prospects, we dressed the kids, threw some fish sticks in the microwave for our finicky eaters, and made our way to Taco Bell for a quick dinner before we tackled Adventureland.

I should explain to the reader that Adventureland is an American icon of entertainment. As a boy, we traveled past it each year on our way to the lake for our vacation. Lustfully, we stared out the window at the miniature golf course, the giant slide, and some rusted rides scattered about knowing we’d visit her sometime during our stay. It eventually came, and it was usually the coolest night of vacation. We’d throw on jeans and sweatshirts over our freshly sunburned bodies and pile into several cars for the short trip to the park.

Twenty minutes later our caravan would pull into the parking lot, and Dad, a few moms, cousins, brothers, and sisters would pour out of the cars, soak themselves down with bug spray, and walk the path to the main building. It was like entering a sacred shrine filled with more than the mind could imagine or the heart could desire. From behind a tall counter lined with golf clubs, a little old man or lady took our money and handed us a small putter and a ball of our choice and color. Usually, we argued and fought for a special color and eventually worked out a compromise to every player’s liking.

With that behind us, we stepped from the brightly colored building and began our 18-hole adventure. Now, Adventureland golf was a far cry from those putt-putt courses with nicely manicured Astroturf greens, bright orange perimeters, and meticulously maintained sterile play areas. It was more like playing golf in a storybook. There was a giant gorilla on hole two, a tiger poised to pounce on hole seven, carousels and paddle boats, closing doors and mysterious holes that took your colored golf ball to who knows where. Not to mention water traps and sand traps that would make Tiger Woods break out in a sweat, but we were young and naive and laughed in the face of danger.

As if it could get any more wonderful, blue and red lights flooded the course, adding to the mystery and enchantment of the night, while tiny fountains danced in the light and laughter. It was a place where dreams came true, and it was like a friend of the family.

To be continued next week…

Go have an adventure,

Todd

PS – You can find this story and others like it in my easy to read book, “The Bathroom Book of Fathering.”

“The Familyman”

#stayingmarried

The Familyman – Website

The Familyman Show – Weekly Todcast

The Familyman Weekly – Weekly email for dads

www.familymanweb.com

574-658-3247

Family Devotions

You can find out more about Todd, Debbie, his eight children, their RV, and ministry at www.familymanweb.com

Being assigned the topic of family devotions is like having a stake driven through my heart. It’s a reminder that I’m a loser dad when it comes to family devotions. Oh, we’ve done them, but it’s always been a sore spot for me.

How I wish I was one of those dads who began them the day his first child was born and continued until he drops dead at the age of 93… but alas, I’m not. We go in spurts. We’ll have them for a while… and then they get pushed out or forgotten… and then we start again.

As I type this I’m in a “forgotten” spurt. But here’s the good news: WE’RE GOING TO START AGAIN! That’s the great thing about starting a new school year. You get a free do-over. The start of a new year just feels like a new beginning time… kind of like a New Year’s Day in September (notice I didn’t say August).

So here’s my plan. I’ll pick a time, after talking it over with my wife who will look at me skeptically. Then we’ll start. I won’t use a devotional book (although we have), I’ll just read a little bit of the Bible, we’ll pray… and we might even sing a simple song.

The reason it’s important is that I want my children to know that God is the one we seek for wisdom, answers, and help. We go to Him because there is no one else to go to.

Now I should say that my wife has made Bible time the first thing they all do in school each day. She has a little Bible curriculum (which is pretty simple) and they always start their day that way. That’s the beauty of homeschooling because it can help you, and force you, to do what you know to be important.

Soooo… if you’re already doing Family devotions, you have my admiration. If you’re not… let’s start back up again… TOGETHER. You with me?

Family is an Adventure!

Todd

Success Starts with the Basics

Yesterday I went to see my 7-year-old grandson display the basic horsemanship skills he had learned during a week of horse camp. I took my seat in the bleachers with my daughter and her two daughters, and we listened as the announcer gave commands and the campers obeyed: stopping their horses, turning them, riding sidesaddle,… Read More

Back to School

For the record… I hate back to school days. As soon as I see the first art box display at Wal-Mart I get a pit in my stomach and have the urge to scream and bolt out of the store. It doesn’t help when they start showing up in center aisles right after the Fourth… Read More

The Truth about Dyslexia Assessments

The following is an interview with Liz. I’m worried about my child’s reading, could they have dyslexia? The fact that you’re worried tells me, that despite your best efforts, your child struggles to read. They may be unable to read or can read a bit, but not fluently. Their spelling is erratic – spelling the… Read More

Should You be Worried About Your Child’s Reading?

Reading ability is different for each child but, by age 8, they should mostly be reading on their own. It doesn’t matter if you’ve used phonics, flashcards or something else to teach your child to read. If they are not able to read by 8, it may be due to an underlying problem called dyslexia. How… Read More

Choosing the Best Curriculum

Choosing the best curriculum has much more to do with you and your child than what the “best book or program” might be. No one loves your child like you do. Furthermore, no one knows your children like you do. What works well for your best friend may not work at all for you. The… Read More