Owner of Analytical Grammar and GrammarPlanet.com, Erin lives in Raleigh, N.C., with her husband, two kids, two cats, and the dog. AG was started by her mom, Robin Finley, a public school English teacher for 34 years. Robin passed away in 2015 after a seven-year battle with cancer. Erin now runs the company, serves as a public affairs officer in the Air Force Reserve, cares for her family, and tries to sing as much as an often as anyone will let her. To reach Erin, email her at ekarl@analyticalgrammar.com.
There are numerous holidays throughout the year that celebrate the United States military and those who have served in it. It’s easy for “civilians” to mix them up, but now that social media has become so prevalent, the reminders about the differences come quickly around this time.
Some are preachy: “Remember: Memorial Day is for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice!”
Some are downright rude: “Memorial Day is not the day to thank me for my service. Stop it!”
Here’s a clear breakdown of the differences, just so you know.
Veterans Day: Recognizes those who have served in the military (retired or discharged).
Memorial Day: Recognizes those who died in service.
Armed Forces Day: Recognizes those currently serving in the military.
Here’s the thing. Many of us who serve develop a rather dark sense of humor as well as a direct (some call it “salty”) way of interacting with people. That’s because WE interact with each other that way. Some are better than others at dialing that back in certain situations… and some just REALLY like being snippy and corrective on the internet.
That was a long introduction to get to my actual topic. When you are a mom who serves, you go from Mother’s Day to Memorial Day within a couple of weeks. It’s important to me that my children know what Memorial Day is about (they’re 10 and 12), but it’s also important not to scare them. I travel once or twice a month for my Reserve job; I can’t have them thinking that simply by donning my military uniform that I’m automatically at higher risk of certain death.
I’ve been VERY blessed in my own selfish way not to have had anyone close to me die while serving. However, my current job has me assigned to U.S. Special Operations Command, and many of my teammates are Green Berets, Rangers, and SEALs. They have lost friends over the years. Some died in horrific battles alongside them on the front lines. It can also happen closer to home. In fact, just a week or two ago a C-130 went down in Georgia with a crew of nine from a Guard unit in Puerto Rico; two of my co-workers were close friends with members of that crew.
It’s difficult to balance teaching my children to be aware of the sacrifice military members make both stateside and overseas and assuring them that I’ll be safe when I leave for Reserve duty. My kids have met some of my team members and know that they jump out of planes for a living. It’s dangerous. All of us on the team fly in military aircraft, work on active flight lines, and participate in other activities that can be risky.
Here is what I teach my children: EVERYTHING can be hazardous. That’s why we look both ways before crossing the street or use great caution when handling kitchen knives. That’s also why my teammates follow strict rules about how to move around a flight line and ALWAYS go through their safety checks before skydiving, even though some of them have done it THOUSANDS of times.
While it’s important to instill a healthy sense of safety in our children, I also believe in not raising kids who are completely risk averse. Without the willingness to take calculated and informed risks, we close ourselves off to great thrills as well as great opportunities to serve and protect others who cannot protect or defend themselves.
As a military mom, I not only make sure to teach my children exactly what Memorial Day is and why it’s important to honor, but it’s also a good opportunity to talk with them about safety and risk and reward and sacrifice… and how these ideals directly impact their lives whenever I go to serve.
