Is It Possible to Teach Humility?

Yes, of course. The Lord has commanded that we be humble, so of course humility can be taught. One of the most admirable traits of a lady and a gentleman, is to be humble, which means to be teachable.

I know that we all are very familiar with people that are “know-it-all’s.” You know those people who no matter what you talk about, they know something about it. Those people who no matter what— have a better idea, better advice, better everything. Here’s the question… is it you?

Spending time with people who seem to have an answer for all questions and seem to have advice for all problems is sometimes difficult. Why? Because it doesn’t make sense. It isn’t natural for someone to know it all so we tend to not trust people who act like they do. On the other hand, it’s so refreshing to have a conversation with someone who makes comments like, “You know, I have never thought about that before, but you’ve sure given me something to think about” or “Wow, I need to read up on that topic and educate myself better” or “I don’t know the answer but I need to find out.” I LOVE people like this. To me, these kinds of people are so interesting and so engaging to have a conversation with, because I know the conversation is going to be honest and open and that’s simply delightful.

So how do we teach our children to be humble? We talk about it, in detail. We first define humility. We never, never, never use people we know to talk about what not to do, because this is rude—extremely rude. However, we talk about situations and we role play examples until they start to recognize what humility sounds like and looks like. Let me give you an example of a role play that mom and dad can do in front of the children to help them see what we’re talking about.

Mom and dad stand up and one is the “know-it-all.” Let’s say mom is the “know-it-all” in this role play.

Dad— “I saw on the news this morning that we might have flooding today because of heavy rains so you might want to be careful driving today.”

Mom— “Oh, I don’t need the news telling me when there’s flooding. I have two eyes that can see when water is on the road.”

Dad— “By the way, Robert’s coach called last night and mentioned that Robert acts pretty scared of the ball when it’s thrown to him in practice so he suggested we try to throw with him every day for at least 15 minutes.”

Mom—“That’s ridiculous. He’s not afraid of the ball he just doesn’t have a lot of experience. I’m sure a few more practices and he’ll be just fine.”

Dad—“I know you mentioned that the washing machine is making that sound again and I know it’s old. I think it’s time to just get a new one but I want to do a little more research before we purchase.”

Mom—“Honey, we don’t need to research anything. Just buy a Kenmore and it will be fine. Kenmore is the best.”

After these types of role play scenarios, have your children analyze each one and allow your children to express what they heard in these situations. Have your children come up with a better answer or a better way of discussing these situations that would show humility and someone seeking to understand or to learn or to value other’s opinions. Have your children stand up and role play a better way. Parents, this is so very powerful when you allow your children to come up with the better way instead of you telling them the better way. It will always be more impactful when your children find the solutions.

An example of a better way with the first scenario might be:

Dad—“I saw on the news this morning that we might have flooding today because of heavy rains so you might want to be careful driving today.”

Mom—“Oh thank you dear for mentioning that. I’ll think about where I need to go today and try to choose a route that doesn’t take me through any low places. I remember a few spots in town that always become flooded first.”

Parents, character traits—all of them, can be taught. But, we must talk about them and teach them in the same manner we would teach math, English and science. First, identify the character trait. Define it. Give examples of what it looks like and sounds like. Give examples of what it doesn’t look like and doesn’t sound like. Testify to your children regarding how a particular character trait has blessed you and can bless them. Be specific. Be purposeful and you will see great results.

Have a wonderful month.