author, publisher
Media Angels, Inc
It’s that time of year: parties, holidays and family gatherings. If you are a homeschool parent that means just about every month you are attending or hosting one of these events. You either love them or want to avoid them like the plague. Leaving the house can be a chore for a mom with one or even multiple children and sometimes it isn’t worth the hassle. Believe me, I’ve been there—with five children it was always easier to stay home.
The struggle can come from children that misbehave to siblings that fight. Once, when I finally piled everyone in the car and faced the traffic we were late to arrive at a friend’s party, and one of her children let us know that we were late! How rude. To avoid frustrations such as rude or disrespectful children, I found several solutions that work.
It took at least five things to get my life under control, and those things began with each of my five children and expectations. Children will misbehave unless they know what you want them to do, ahead of time. It is easy for us to assume your children will be at his/her best when they are out. However, it never fails that someone will have a meltdown!
“Be good and do what I tell you,” rarely if ever works. What we consider good: “Eat a cupcake carefully,” may mean something different to your child like: “Shove the cupcake into your mouth all at once to prevent any spills on your good clothes.” Yes, this happened to me! This is why role-playing and specifics work! If you give your child a set of instructions have them tell you what you said. Yes, it may be tedious, but it is helpful to avoid disasters like the cupcake one above.
- Insist that your children stay by your side when you arrive at a guest’s home. Explain to your children that you want to walk around with them, so they know what to expect. Go over the rules quickly with your children. These may be simple like, “No running,” or more complex such as, “Come to me before the food is served; I’d like to help you.”
- Be sure your child understands that if there is any misbehavior, you will leave. And, follow through. It only takes one disaster—leaving early—to show your child that you mean what you say.
- Explain that when you call your child’s name that means first-time obedience. They must come. “I didn’t hear you,” is not an excuse especially if you make eye contact with your child, or they were within earshot.
- Teach your children that running indoors and even outdoors must be avoided around guests. Explain why. “You may knock over an elderly guest or the food, or fall into something dangerous, like a pool.”
- Explain that we acknowledge our guests when we arrive—a simple “hello,” is fine. And, we thank our guests when we leave. “Thank-you for inviting us.”
Whatever your family rules, be sure you cover the details before the event. One of our rules when friends are visiting is, “You must clean up the game or all the toys before you leave,” and the reverse for when we visit someone’s home. I created a podcast on successfully navigating the holidays with children here (http://ultimateradioshow.com/stress-free-holidays-with-children/) that you may enjoy. And remember, your children are only young for a short time. We can’t get back the years but we can make memories of holidays fun!
Felice Gerwitz is an author, publisher at Media Angels, Inc (www.MediaAngels.com) and podcaster at VintageHomeschoolMoms.com. She enjoys hosting small and large family events, especially with children. She has homeschooled since 1986 and has five children, four graduated. Felice and her husband Jeff live in sunny, Southwest Florida.
